What I've Been Up To!

This is just a small taste of what I've been up to. I fly home on Tuesday and have several posts to catch up on but for now here is a sweet little picture of me having a great time!

Got me thinking...

My roommate posted a story on her blog and it reminded me of this story by Hugh B. Brown. I was first introduced to this story on my mission. My great friend Alan sent it to me in one of his letters of encouragement. I remember thinking how true this is. Sometimes I feel like I have been cut down when I've been making so much progress but more often I wonder what's really going on in my life? The thing that I really like about this is the message that: The Lord knows who He wants me to be. He can see the end from the beginning and if I will trust in Him I will not be disappointed. So for all of your enjoyment here is the story.

The Currant Bush

by Elder Hugh B. Brown
of the Council of the Twelve

You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what he ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than he does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church. It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.

I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’ ”

Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.

Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.

And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:

“It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea;
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me;
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.”
(Hymns, no. 75.)

I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost fifty years later, I look up to him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension when I’m no good any longer, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.

I wanted to tell you that oft-repeated story because there are many of you who are going to have some very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried to prove what you are made of. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, “God is the gardener here. He knows what he wants you to be.” Submit yourselves to his will. Be worthy of his blessings, and you will get his blessings.

March 1-6th

Monday

I debated posting either of these pictures there's not much to tell about them really. This is what I look like right before I dye my hair- my hair could be pretty wild if I wanted it to be. And the second picture of me is when I was all done with the hard part and waiting for my hair to process. Someday when I'm really old I'll let my hair go completely white and not worry about dyeing it but for now I go through this process every 3-4 weeks.

Tuesday

At school I belong to the School Advisory Committee. We have a meeting on the morning of the first Wednesday of every month. A few months ago I decided to take muffins to share. Mostly I love a warm fresh muffin but I only want a couple so if I take them to my meeting I have others who will help me eat them. This month I decided to make blueberry muffins. They were yummy -even though I didn't use the right recipe from my mom.

Wednesday

So it's a little obvious with this picture that I am lacking in my life of picture worthy events. This is my water bottle that I absolutely love. I try to drink about two of these a day and it is a LONG day at work when I forget it at home.

Thursday

After work on Thursday I went out to dinner with some friends from work. This is Judy our school's previous secretary. She is wonderful and we all miss her. It was fun to get together with her and catch up.

Friday

Preston, Tricia, and I were going to see the new Alice in Wonderland movie but by the time we got to the theater all of the good seats were gone and when I say good I mean all but the first three rows. We decided this wasn't a movie we would enjoy up close so we settled for a yummy dinner at the California pizza factory.

Saturday

I live with great roommates a fact which I am grateful for daily! Julie brought me this yummy cookie to celebrate going off track. I could eat one of these a day. I love them! I told her she couldn't make a habit of it because I have no self control!

Of Friends and Feet

Tricia and I's friend Brian invited a bunch of us from the ward over to his new place after the adult session of Stake Conference. It was fun to get out for a bit but Tricia and I didn't stay long I had a paper that had to be finished and Tricia had some other stuff to do as well. Maybe next time we can stay a bit longer for some more fun.

Do you ever look at others feet and think WOW those are really small I wonder how that person walks on those? Well, my sweet roommate has tiny feet and people have actually asked her that question. We were sitting with our feet up on Saturday and Shaun put his foot up next to Tricia's she reply with I know they're really small. Then she told us how people have asked her how she walks on them and she said well I just stand up and go. I thought it was pretty funny maybe a bit more funny than it really was and we decided our feet comparison was worth a picture. I think height, feet, and hands are funny things because we really didn't get to pick them out did we? We just make due with what we've been given.

Last Week of February

Monday

Many Mondays Annette, Raegan, and I go out to lunch. I'm not the biggest fan of the day Monday. Mainly because it can feel longer than any other day. So to help out with my Monday attitude we go out for lunch. It's also nice to get away from the school for a few minutes and just visit with friends.

Tuesday

Another school shot: The one thing that makes life bearable for the 2 and 1/2 hours that I spend in this room by myself is this huge window with a great view of the mountains. I tried really hard to get a good shot of both the mountains and me. When the mountains seemed decent I looked horrible and when I looked good the mountains are barely visible. After about 20 pictures I gave up. Plus people were walking by in the hall and giving me weird looks. I picked my favorite one of me and you'll just have to take my word for it that the mountains are beautiful!

Wednesday

I went to the BYU vs San Diego State with my friends Heather and Teryl. I haven't seen them in a while and it was fun to catch up as well as enjoy some great Cougar basketball.

Thursday

We had Stake Temple day tonight. I really enjoyed it. Afterwards Tricia and I decided to have some delicious Red Mango frozen yogurt. I could eat this everyday if it wasn't so expensive. I settle for some every now and then as a special treat. I probably enjoy it more this way.

Friday

If you want to see my picture of the day for Friday you'll have to read my book when it's published. I took it with some of my students at the district science fair Friday evening.

Saturday

My friend from work Alisa came with Quade and I to the BYU vs. New Mexico game. It was really intense and sadly they ended up loosing 81-83. Really it was a bit of a let down but I have recovered.

Sunday

I've been a little tired lately... OK maybe a lot tired. It has a lot to do with being addicted to the Olympics. I get home and think I should really go to bed early but then I have to see who wins Gold. I'm sad the Olympics are over but at least now I'll get some decent rest. We had Stake Conference today which meant we were home from church before the time our ward meets every Sunday. I decided to go ahead and take a nap. I slept for 3 hours and think I just might survive the week now. Isn't sleep an amazing thing!

Dear Kara,

On Wednesday night I missed you...

I was watching Bob Costas and the Olympic men's half pipe.

When the announced the Americans I knew you would have liked to have watched this event with me because look who it is!! One of our favorite little dancers - I was thinking what in the world was he doing Dancing with the Stars when he was headed for the Olympics? Shouldn't he have been training for this big day?

He had a couple of good runs but ended up in 5th. I really wished he would have made the medal stand!

If you've ever wondered...

Why Gracee and Emme are SO excited to see me or cry when I leave their house. Well it probably has everything to do with the fact of something like this. It was around 11:30 a.m. and Liz had been telling the girls all morning that no they couldn't have any sweets - I'm pretty sure they won't be off the sugar high from all the cookies we ate for a week. So me being the "fun" Aunt that I am while their mother was in the other room snuck into the pantry and got us a treat that they have been saving.

We all hurried and grabbed ourselves some and I wish I would have snapped a picture of Liz's face when she walked back through the room.

Honestly I think she was more shocked that we were eating the Cotton Candy she'd been saving without her than that I was filling the girls with more junk.

Thanks Liz for letting me come and visit!

Thanks for letting me pull out sweets even after you say no and not getting mad at me.

And thanks for taking fun pictures so that we will always remember all the fun.

And it should be noted that we didn't eat the whole thing and that Liz got a little bit of the fluffy stuff as well.

Feb 15th - 21st

Monday

On my way home from Rexburg I stopped in Pocatello to see Nikkie and have a huge ice cream cone at Tasty Treat! This was a favorite place of ours when we lived together - Can you believe how big they are? They used to be bigger but with the bad economy the price has gone up and the size has gone down - Not surprising!

Tuesday

I've been feeling like I might be fighting the beginning stages of a cold so I'm drinking orange juice by the quarts. It's a good thing that it is a beverage of choice for me any day so I actually enjoy it. I also watched more Olympics. It's a good thing I have grading to do while I watch so I feel somewhat productive. I love watching all the different events and I love cheering for the Americans!

Wednesday

More Olympics - Loved watching the snow boarding half pipe - absolutely amazing! I would never want to do it myself but fun to watch.

Thursday

More Olympics... Actually in my defense I only watched a few minutes tonight - this is actually a picture of me winding down after Parent teacher conferences. I worked a 12 hour day left work went straight to Institute - I was late but made it for the last half of class. Then I came home put on my comfy pjs, made myself a milkshake and watched the men's figure skating.

Friday

When parents come in to see me this is what they see. The stack of papers in front of me are the student's folders with their report cards and some work to share with parents. The stack at this point was getting quite small I only had 7 conferences on Friday - I did 15 on Thursday and have 2 left Monday after school with parents that couldn't make it the other 2 days. Thought I better get a picture of me doing something other than watching the Olympics:)

Saturday

Since I haven't been able to pull myself away from Vancouver I thought I better be productive so I brought out my quilt I've been working on for four years now. Every time I do work on it I'm reminded how much I enjoy doing it. I'm not sure why I don't sew on it more. Maybe because the thought of it gets me overwhelmed.

Sunday

I made a chocolate cake yesterday and took it to our ward's friendship dinner after church. There was one piece left to bring home so Kera I took this picture for you. I decided to not put it on a plate to save myself doing a dish:) Really it just made for a funny picture. And I must say I'm getting pretty good at the whole self camera thing!

Human Alarm Clocks

With faces like this how could anyone ever be upset???

When I visit Liz and Ruffin I sleep in a downstairs bedroom. I know that Liz keeps the girls upstairs as long as she possibly can but they usually still wake me up. On Saturday morning they came running downstairs and crawled in bed with me. We sang there were three in the bed and the little one said - roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out. We ended our song with a lot of giggles and then ran up stairs to start our day!

Spreading a Little Fun...

So I mentioned that I really enjoy giving the school counselor a hard time... And here is the deal - he hates Valentine's day. I think that is a little ridiculous so each year we try to come up with a way to make sure he knows the holiday is here. This year we blew up over 500 balloons and stuffed them in his office. When I say "we" I should really say the 6th graders. I think I blew up one balloon. And really it was great! I wish we could have had 500 more to fill it up to the ceiling. Oh and don't let Terry's face fool you in that last picture he was thrilled with his surprise.

Favorites for the Week... Feb. 8th - 14th

After my fun picture on Monday my week was a little slow because my Tuesday and Wednesday pictures were just quick self shots. I try not to be boring but if I'm documenting my life then I guess that some days are going to be just that a little boring.

Tuesday Feb 9th

My classes don't seem as long as they did the first couple of weeks but Tuesdays as a whole still seem really long! My hair was driving me nuts so by the end of the day it ended up in pigtails.

Wed Feb. 10th

Wednesday I went to the temple and was going to take a picture of myself but didn't remember until I was a couple miles away. Needless to say I wasn't going to turn around so again my picture was this great one of me in the upstairs hallway.

Thursday Feb. 11th

Thursday was a bit more exciting because I gave blood. I'm getting really used to saying to people - "Would you mind taking a picture of me - I'm documenting my life in 2010 by taking a picture a day." The lovely nurse who was taking care of me was very happy to take a picture of me and even volunteered to make sure my blood got in it!

Friday Feb. 12th

I decided to drive home to Idaho for the long weekend. I didn't tell Liz I was coming and it was fun to surprise her. Marianna was in on my surprise and we had a fun time playing games and eating yummy food.

Saturday Feb 13th

Marianna came back over on Saturday to hang out. We made delicious sugar cookies to celebrate Valentine's day and they were probably the best we've done in a long time. I love sugar cookies but think they have a particular place in the festivities of Christmas and Valentine's. I was happy that I had others to enjoy them with me.

Sunday Feb. 14th

For Valentine's day Liz, Gracee, Emme, and I wrote little Valentine cards and frosted a couple of cookies to take to Grandpa Oldham and Grandpa Clark and Janis. I think they were all delighted to see us but Grandpa Clark and Janis were particularly excited about their Valentine cards. I kind of wished we would have made some more original ones. They were just the average pre-made Disney Princess ones but it was fun to watch them read each one. Remember how when you were in elementary school you read each card and debated which class member you would give it to as if it was really sending a message to each person. Valentine's cards are a bit of an interesting tradition.

Really???

Sometimes I really love being 29 and single...

I love that I have been blessed to have a profession that is not only fulfilling but doesn't even feel like work.

I love that I get to spend some of my money on frivolous things and I don't feel guilty about it or have to answer to anyone but myself.

I love that I get to travel.

I love that I'm the fun single aunt.

I love staying up late and sleeping in late on Saturdays and Sundays. (No human alarm clocks thank you very much!)

However, there are times when I think all this fun comes at a price...

Tonight for Home Evening our activity was speed dating with another ward. I didn't want to go.

Really is this supposed to be fun?? Is this what Home Evening is supposed to be like?? The answer to both those questions is "Yes" if your 29 and still single this type of activity is supposed to be exciting or maybe a final attempt at meeting "the one."

On nights like tonight (as well as numerous other occasions) I think I'd trade in all those things I love about being single for a husband and my own little human alarm clock. I'd trade in speed dating without a second thought.

Now - I have to be fair and honest... it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was glad that I went and I enjoyed chatting with the guys that rotated past me. It's surprising that you can get a feel for people in four minutes. Would I say I'd do this type of thing every week - probably not but once a year around Valentine's day - sure. Oh and I actually took a picture of me talking to one of the nice gentlemen but I promised I wouldn't post it online so you get one of just me. Notice how there are way more girls than guys... I thought it was funny. So typically it's hard to even date when your speed dating... What is that all about?!?

One Step Enough...

Today in Relief Society we sang - "Lead Kindly Light" hymn #97. I love this song! One of the first times I remember hearing it or being made aware of it was in my Literature class at college. We were doing a poetry unit and the teacher read this hymn as one of her favorites to demonstrate that many songs are also poems. Since then I have paid much closer to the words each time I sing it. The whole premise of the song is we are here on Earth on a journey. The first verse is my favorite:

Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom; Lead thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene - one step enough for me.

Sometimes I think what would it be like if I could just know where I'd be in 5 even 2 years? Maybe then I'd live with more determination and purpose. But, then I'm reminded like I was today that I'm not meant to know all the details of the future and that's OK. I know that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me. He is aware of all that is going on in my life and He continues to light my path so that I can continue to walk into the darkness. I don't need to see the road for the next 5 years to be successful - I only need to take it one step at a time. What a comfort it is to me that I have a Savior who has prepared a way for me to make it back home again. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and am so glad I have it in my life!

Another Week in Pictures

I was looking back on my pictures and thought - this has been a long week... I feel like Monday's picture was taken three weeks ago not just a few days. Time can be a very funny thing...

Monday

I had a good day at work for it being a Monday. My students behaved well for the substitute which is really no surprise they are a wonderful bunch of kids. It also didn't hurt that my sub was the 6th grade teacher who is off track. I found the notes he left on my plans quite humorous. Monday nights are not all that exciting -obviously if my picture is me folding laundry and listening to Harry Potter. I should have been reading for my graduate class but I'll do just about anything to avoid doing homework so the result was piles of clean clothes.

Tuesday

I really wasn't excited about going to class today. I'm glad I have classes on Tuesdays because I get them done with early in the week but I still don't look forward to them. So to get myself a little bit more enthused I stopped by the grocery store on my way to class and bought myself a treat. My mom loved these growing up and I enjoy them as well. They were a great little treat that got me through the evening. When class was through and I was leaving I thought - you know it didn't seem near as long as it did that first night. Which is true. I guess with each class subconsciously I know there is one less class and I am closer to May and graduating. On an interesting note - I volunteered to video tape my students explaining why we need common denominators to compare and add and subtract fractions. I taped them on Wednesday and mailed it to my professor. I am really hoping it will make our discussion next Tuesday a little more enjoyable. Really I don't know how we discuss the same little thing for two and a half hours. And my students are so cute they are very concerned that I get an A on my assignment. I told them it wasn't something that would be graded but maybe it would help me get an A in the class.

Wednesday

I was so excited that it was Wednesday because Michelle had invited me over for dinner. We hadn't seen each other in a little while so it was fun to get together. I took the rest of my cookies to share for dessert. Her little guys loved them and sweet little Carson - in red - while eating his pulled out the chocolate layer and said, "Look Mom it's his spirit!" Love it!! Yep our spirits are inside our bodies so it would only make sense. I don't think I'll ever eat and E.L. Fudge cookie again without thinking of that.

Michelle and I also watched The Unsinkable Molly Brown once her kids were in bed. It's a movie we both watched as kids and loved and it was fun to enjoy it again together. Not one I need to watch often but maybe every ten years or so. I do love Debbie Reynolds!

Thursday

You don't get to see my Thursday picture because I took it of one of my students and myself. I was helping to teach an in-service after school and I needed some pictures on my school camera. This student came to my desk for some help and I said, "let's take a picture of us." It turned out cute so I told her I'd make it my "picture of the day." I love the students I get to spend my life with! It makes me so happy and everyday so very enjoyable!!

Friday

After work on Friday I went to the district's Story Weaver's festival to see three students from our school perform. You would not believe the talent some of these young children have! It was very enjoyable to see them retell familiar stories and us such great expression! Then I decided I'd grab a pizza for dinner and a movie to watch while I ate. I rented Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It was OK. I loved the first 5 minutes because he's a science nerd and it reminded me of the cute kids in my class.

Saturday

I have a confession to make - I HATE grading papers!! If there is one downside to my job this is it! I'll procrastinate it as long as I possibly can and then the pile is huge! Well- I can't put it off any longer because we have parent teacher conferences in a week and a half which means report cards have to be completed. So I dedicated my entire Saturday to getting this done. I am quite proud of myself and would like to report that I got more done than I expected. Now I only have a few things more to grade before I do report cards. I didn't hardly move from this position on the couch - I listened to BYU lose (What in the world was wrong with all of them?? I was glad I didn't get the game on T.V. because I don't think I could have stood to watch it. However, with that said I am still a huge BYU fan and will still watch every game I can.), I finished listening to Harry Potter #7 (I love that book and find the conclusion just as satisfying as I did the first time I read the book. I have now read the book twice and listened to it in it's entirety twice. I know, I know I need to branch out but remember that this time it was for a student.), and we watched a movie (Tricia and Preston joined me in the evening and we had an evening full of grading papers. It's exciting around my house I know!)

Sunday

Today has been an enjoyable day. We had a wonderful Fast and Testimony meeting in my ward. Probably one of the best that I've been in for quite a while and I loved it. Our Bishop began with his testimony and mentioned that places like Sacrament meeting are the only places we can go and say our heart is truly full. I love it when you leave a meeting and you do feel that fullness. It is a wonderful feeling. We also went to a fireside this evening and it was a great way to end the day.