Today I'm thankful for: #1 - Those who came to just support me. So I'm pretty blessed my live is filled with family who love me dearly but, it's also filled with friends who love me like I'm family. We had a viewing before the funeral and then the funeral started at 11:00. I was standing in my place in line greeting people and doing my best to remember names and know how I knew who was coming through the line to pay their last respects to my dad. The line was pretty long this morning and I looked up and saw this couple and thought now how do I know them? Then it hit me- This couple was there just for me. It was Brother and Sister Steele from my singles ward. I was in such a fog it took me two seconds to place them. When they got to me I gave them both a huge hug and thanked them for coming. They will never know what it means to me that they traveled over four hours to be at a funeral for a man they never met but to support me. I love them dearly.
Nikkie and Tommy also came which I appreciated. Then Tricia, Kerri, and Raegan came in right before the viewing ended. I about lost it. Such sweet girls and amazing friends. I about lost it completely when I was talking to them. I had talked to Raegan yesterday and asked her to stay to eat after the funeral. She said, "We'll stay as long as you want us to stay." I didn't plan on making them stay really long but it meant a lot to know that if I needed them the'd stay.
#2- Being able to share memories of my dad. The funeral was really nice. I was so relieved when my part was over and I made it through without getting too emotional. Here is the part of the life sketch that Liz read as well as my talk:
Liz went first and told about dad's childhood and high school years:
Dad
was born January 15, 1941 the first-born son to Reed and Helen Oldham in
Hibbard, Idaho. Dad loved to work on the farm with his dad and grandpa. One day
while he was out in the tractor with his grandpa Oldham he stuck him finger in
a hole in the dashboard and couldn’t get it out. His grandpa looked at him and
said, “Well it looks like we’re going to have to cut it off.” And then got out
of the tractor. Dad panicked thinking that for sure his grandpa was headed to
get a knife. He started to pull his finger with all his might but this only
made it worse and is finger started to swell and wouldn’t budge. Imagine dad’s
relief when his grandma Oldham returned instead of his grandpa. She had a
string and a bar of soap. She soaped his finger and then wrapped it with string
to reduce the swelling. Little by little she got it worked out and even at the
age of 70 if you would have asked Dad he’d still ring his hands rubbing that
finger grateful he still had it.
The
first time dad rode the school bus home it dropped him off at the corner about
½ mile from home. When he told his dad about his long walk he said, “Don’t get
off the bus. You ride it into town and tell the driver to take you to the
superintendent’s office. Then tell the superintendent to bring you home to your
house.” The next day dad did just as he was told. The superintendent brought
him home and from that time on the bus dropped him off at his house. From an
early age dad learned to be brave as well as do as his father directed.
Dad
always encouraged us to be our own person. In the first grade he got in trouble
for coloring a dog the wrong color. His dog at home was red so that’s what he
colored the dog. The instructions from the teacher were to color it brown. He
always thought that if wanted to color it red he should be able to do just
that.
One
day during high school dad went on his lunch break to the grocery store to buy
a bar of soap for a class project of carving. The store clerk saw him put it in
his pocket and thought he had shop lifted it. The clerk confronted him and dad
pulled out his receipt to prove he had paid for it. (Pull receipt from pocket.)
Dad always got a receipt and taught us to get one too.
I told about his mission, college, and engagement to mom:
After
high school dad attended Rick’s college. There he acted in several plays
including the Diary of Anne Franke and Our Town.
Dad
was then called to serve a 30 month mission to the Netherlands. At that time
missionaries who learned to speak a foreign language served an extra 6 months
to learn the language. When dad left for his mission he took the train to Salt
Lake. It stopped in Logan where his Aunt Meryl, Aunt Mavis, and Grandma Roundy
met him to see him on his way. After a few days in Salt Lake he was off to the
Netherlands. I remember him telling me that he was blessed with a trainer who
knew Dutch well and because of him he was able to learn the language. A large
part of his mission he spent as a secretary in the mission office. He spoke
often and fondly of his mission. He loved the Dutch people of Belgium and
Holland. Each Christmas our family set out wooden shoes instead of stockings.
This served as a great reminder to us of the importance of missionary work and
of our father’s faithful service as a young man. This last April mom and dad
came down to Utah to one of my dad’s mission reunions. They invited me to come
over and attend with them. I’ll never forget my father’s excitement as he
reunited with his mission president after almost 50 years. The years melted
away and I could tell there was a flood of memories running through his mind.
His mission was definitely a special and precious time in his life. It not only
shaped who he was but it shaped each of us as his children because of the
stories he would tell us and the faith he instilled in us that he gained as he
served the Lord.
Dad’s
grandpa Oldham would spend the winter in California and dad caught a ride with
him to Provo to attend BYU. His grandpa dropped him off on some street. Dad was
left to lug his suitcase to find a place to sleep for the night. He stayed his
first week in a hotel until he found an apartment to rent. He only stayed in
Provo for a quarter. Long enough to get language credits for speaking Dutch.
Dad then transferred to Cal Poly were obtained a bachelor’s degree in business
administration. While at school in California Dad spent his summers working in
the Las Angeles produce market. From those days he could always find the
perfect watermelon or cantaloupe or any other fruit for that matter.
On
Dec. 31st 1973 Lynn Loosli set mom and dad on a blind date. Because
it was New Year’s eve all the restaurants were crowded and finally at the West
Bank dad just lied and said he had a reservation. They finally got seated to
eat and mom ordered steak and lobster and dad ordered the same thing. Mom said
he did that their whole married life just ordered whatever she was having. Then
when he got up to pay dad had to find money in at least 6 pocket. Mom was
getting worried that this blind date didn’t have enough money to pay for dinner
and she might have to wash dishes. After dinner the heater went out in the car
dad was driving and they were freezing so they stopped in Rexburg to switch
cars. Dad put mom in the car in the shop where it was warm and went to grab the
keys. He was gone for 20 minutes and finally returned. Apparently the keys
weren’t where they were supposed to be and dad had to wake everyone in the
house to find the keys. Then the car was out of gas and he pulled the car around
to the farm gas tank. It was an old hand pump where you pumped gas up into a
bulb and then it ran down the hose. Mom had never seen such a thing and dad by
this time was pretty exasperated. It’s amazing mom said yes to a second date.
The
second date ended with dad trying to buck snowdrifts to get my mom home. He got
the car so stuck that he had to stay the night. Grandma and Grandpa Clark
weren’t home because they were at the temple and didn’t come home because of
the bad weather. The next morning when grandma got home she said, “Well, Ann
he’ll either be back for good or you’ll never see him again.” She was right dad
was here to stay.
In
March of 1974 dad proposed to mom at the Bancroft Jr. prom. They were sealed in
the Idaho Falls temple on July 31, 1974.
Dear Dad,
A
few years ago I thought it’d be a good idea to write letters to those I love
and tell them why I loved them. You received one of those letters and I’m
grateful that I took that chance to tell you why I love you and am grateful to be
your daughter. Today I decided that I wanted to write another letter but this
time tell you some of the things I’m going to remember from my almost 31 years
as your little girl.
I’ll
remember always being so excited when I got to go to the field to work with
you. One time I’ll never forget mom had packed us both a lunch. I loved granny
smith apples and mom had packed me one. My favorite way to eat an apple was to
take a bite all around it in one straight line. You said, “Oh that looks good.
Give me a bite of that.” I handed my apple over and had just finished my bites
all around the apple. You were always so afraid of getting germs from sharing
with us kids and you were a little disgruntled that there wasn’t a side of the
apple without a bite. As a kid I never understood what the big deal was but
know that I’m older and afraid of getting sick I understand it just a little.
What is really funny is all that not sharing with little kids to avoid germs
was completely thrown out the window as soon as you got grandkids. Anytime
those little girls wanted a bite of something you gladly shared. What ever they
wanted they got and they loved their grandpa.
I’ll never forget how you would clean up
and sweep out your shop so I would have a place to roller skate what more could
a little girl ask for than my very own rink to enjoy for hours. I loved playing
in the shop while you were busy working. It was a real treat when I could get
Jonathan to pump up the handy man jack and give me a ride down. I still love
the click of crescent wrenches because of the many times I played with them as
I sat by you. And I loved to “go shopping” among the bolts and screws on the
shop shelves. How frustrating that must have been to have all your different
sizes mixed up. But I don’t remember you ever getting mad at me for moving
things around.
I
have seen many beautiful places with you and when we visited somewhere we
weren’t just there for fun we were there to learn. In Washington D.C. my love
of my country grew as we visited monuments. In Nauvoo my testimony of the
gospel was strengthened as we learned about the sacrifices of the early saints.
One of my favorites oddly enough was visiting the Dwight D. Eisenhower’s
Presidential library in Abilene, Kansas. I thought it was so interesting.
Mostly because you were so excited to be there and that made me excited to be
there too. Thank you for showing me many great places all across this great
United States.
I
know that one of the reasons I value education is because you valued education.
It was never a question if I’d go to college but where I’d attend. You’re words
of “Study Hard!” will always ring in my ears when I’m studying for anything. I
was pretty sure a master’s degree was plenty of education. But last month the
week that BYU was to play USU you always liked to tease me about who I’d be
cheering for. It’s true that BYU isn’t my Al matuer and USU is but you know
full well that I won’t be cheering for anyone except the Cougars. When I told
you that I’m not cheering for USU you said, “Now listen! Your grandparents and
great- granddad went to that school and,” At this point I cut in and said,
“What is it going to take for you to not ask me this question? I guess I’m just
going to have to get my P.H.D. from BYU so it’s OK that I cheer for them.” You
replied with, “Well, that’s the best news I’ve heard all day!” I just laughed
and said I’m not getting my P.H.D. You believed in a good education but you
also believed that without a lot of hard work a good education wouldn’t do me
much good. You’d always say that your grandpa Oldham would tell you to get a
good education and then put the sheep skin in the drawer and go to work. I’ve
thought about that often and have tried to do just that. I’ve done my homework
and when the schooling was over I’ve done my best to forget about those degrees
and just work hard.
You
always encouraged me to: “Look sharp, feel sharp, and be sharp.” Those are good
words to live by and I’ll remember them in the years to come.
I’ll
never forget the last time I heard you bear your testimony. We were all at home
for our family reunion and I am grateful for the sweet testimony you bore about
your love of the gospel of Jesus Christ and your love for the mothers in your
life.
In
the last letter you wrote me before I came home from my mission you said, “So
as you approach the bottom of the hill of your mission you need to shift up a
gear or two so you will have enough speed to get over the little hill’s at the
end. So just like Donnor’s pass gear up and keep the power on.” Life if full of
lots of big and little hills and I know you knew all about that. I want you to
know that I’ll remember to gear up a few gears and keep the power on so that I
have enough power to get through. Especially through this difficult time of not
having you here with us on earth.
I
love you and am so thankful you are my dad.
Love,
Olivia
I
want to leave my testimony with you of my knowledge of the truthfulness of the
gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that my family will be together forever if we
live worthy here on earth. I know that family relationships continue after
death and that my dad will always be my dad. How grateful I am for this
knowledge because it is what helps me to shift up a few gears whenever I am
faced with a challenge in life.
#3- A beautiful sunny day. We buried my dad in a plot next to where my grandmother is buried. I think it meant a lot to my mom to bury him there and to know she'll be buried next to her parents. Tricia had Raegan snap a picture of us at the cemetery and I was a little out of it and didn't get one with Raegan or Nikkie. Tricia also snapped these couple of pictures of my whole family. I was a beautiful day. Grandpa Clark dedicated the grave and then we all walked over to the church and ate lunch. I was so thankful to have all my dear friends with me and to have them to sit with me while we ate lunch.
#4- An evening with family. After the funeral we all gathered together and when I say we all I mean all of my immediate family and all of mom's siblings. We spent the evening eating and visiting. Little Emme loves to take pictures with my camera and this is my favorite one from the evening. I've thought often over the past week about how it'd be if I didn't have loving relationship with my family. I'm so thankful for all of them for grandparents, parents, aunt, uncles, cousins, siblings, nieces, and nephews. All of them make my life wonderful!! And they make loosing one of those loved ones easier since I know we will all be together forever. We will all sit down together and visit someday in heaven. It has been a really long week and I'm thankful that this part is finished. There will be tough days ahead but I'm thankful this is over. Now it's time to move forward and figure out a new normal with my dad being gone.
