Today I'm thankful that: #1- I was able to be home for my mom. Yesterday I didn't want to be driving home. I still don't want to be here by myself but my mom needs me so what I want or more accurately what I don't want to face is outweighed by what I need to be doing. My mom needed me and needed to not be alone to face every thing and make decisions.
#2- Family. This morning Dee and Nikkie Reynolds and Karen Dixon came to visit. Dee and Karen are my mom's cousins. It's comforting to know that families both immediate and extended look out and watch over you at this time. There is so much food at mom's house it's ridiculous. But it makes you feel so loved!
#3- Making decisions. First on mom and I's list this morning was to meet with the funeral director. We needed to give him the obituary that mom and I wrote last night and pick out a casket. It's a good thing you're in a fog when you do these things because I don't think I could deal with it otherwise. Mom kept saying we'll go look at the caskets and then call everyone to see what they think before we make a decision. I finally said, "Mom, they don't care. What ever you pick out they will be just fine with. We don't want to have to wait until Monday to make a final decision. Let's just go and pick one out and they will all be fine." So when we went over to the funeral home we looked at all of them and picked one out. It is a beautiful wood one. Simple and really nice. I don't like the whole idea of having to pick out a casket. I don't like thinking about actually being dead and having to put your body in something. I was glad we decided quickly without any debate. When we left I think mom was relieved too. She kept saying that it went well and was easier with just two of us. I assured her that I think everyone will think we made the right decision. Really I think that any decision would be the right one. I'm in a fog and was surprised to realize that my mom is really in a fog and she needed me to help her make decisions.
After the funeral home we headed to Rexburg to buy new burial clothes and to stop at Walmart. We stopped at Dairy Queen to grab something to eat. So weird because I have no idea when the last time I ate was and nothing sounds good and then I'm starving and only eat a little and it still makes me feel a little sick. Which makes nothing sound good until I'm starving again. I just wanted a slushee - which ALWAYS sounds good mom got food too and it tasted better than she thought it would. President and Sister Ludlow called me to see how I was doing and I got all chocked up when I was telling them about what makes me really emotional is the overwhelming love and support I feel from all those I love and who love me.
When we got home from Rexburg we went out to Frank and Barbra's to use the Internet for a quick minute. Then we went back home to be there in case any one else stopped by. I've been amazed at the people who have come and called. My mom is well love and well taken care of.
